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It often seems the more I try to describe what I'm seeking, the further I get from it because I don't think in terms of relationship "categories." It seems this should be so, so very simple. If I like you and you like me, isn't that good enough? But there are so many preconceptions.

It's not about "romantic" or "platonic." It's about being real with each other right from the start, whether about sex or anything else, just because that works best and because we care about one another. It's not about "long-term" or "short-term." People are going to stay together exactly as long as they wish, no more and no less, so let's just see what happens instead of trying to make it permanent or impermanent. It's not about dominance or submission. It's about each of us stepping out of our own ways and finding ways for all to get what we want/need without the need to control others (I like looking for "win-win" situations). It's not about "just" friends or "more than" friends. It's about relating with each other based on our actual desires and needs, and not based on our positions on some silly hierarchical ladder. My friends are important to me, regardless of gender and whether or not there's a sexual aspect to the relationship. Period. There's no "just" or "more than" about it. I feel that friendship is a benefit in itself, whether or not sex is involved, so the usual phrases about "friends with benefits," "friends first," etc. are a bit redundant. They're really just euphemisms to avoid mentioning sex. Frankly, I think all communication is relating--and therefore a relationship--not only the communication that fits into some box, type, category, or whatever! Am I seeking a "serious" relationship? Well, that depends...If "serious" means exclusive, then no. However, if it means based on honesty, actually giving a damn about one another, respect, etc., then hell yes. Freedom and caring can be compatible, you know. :)

I'm into music (especially techno, jazz, international, and good old-fashioned rock and "alternative" from back when that meant something), sci-fi (not necessarily the standard TV fare--I will always be a book junkie), cats other animals (I used to be the main humanoid advocate for five cats), comparative philosophy (I'm a Gnostic Agnostic Panvitalist with very Zenarchist/anarchist leanings that occasionally cause me to fall over), language/linguistics (I used to know just enough Portuguese to get me in trouble, still know enough English to get me in big trouble, and enough Silence to know that words slice the world up into categories, but they don't always cut it for effective communication), hanging around with friends (I go for quality rather than quantity), culture (We live on a planet--not just in a country), traveling/exploring (indoors, outdoors, underdoors), geek stuff (yeah, yeah, I've "got root," but it's not got me, I promise), and lots of other things. I'm not by nature a serious person, but I do listen and mean what I say. My sense of humor is multi-colored and multi-tentacled.

I am neither the king, the prince, nor the knight in shining armor. I'm the rogue jester who got tired of the entire monarchy and left to lead a quiet life with some new experiences thrown in. I firmly believe there's actually a difference between chivalry and real respect, and I practice the latter rather than the former. There's no hidden agenda here, no hoops through which we must jump. I'll hold the door for you because I try to help people, and tell you the truth because honesty just makes things so much simpler, not because either is the "proper" next step in a pre-programmed courtship ritual. I would prefer the same honesty from others.

I am neither Mr. Right who would deny you another person who is also right for you simply because the other person is not me, nor Mr. Right-Now who expects you to sever your caring from your sexuality and become nothing but a receptacle. I'm a real, honest, affectionate, empathic, hybrid polyamorous and quirkyalone (able to love many and realize that people aren't property, and willing to stay single unless/until I connect deeply with someone(s)), generally mellow and sometimes quiet hippie-oid mutant seeking a female kindred spirit with whom to share a bit of life, laughter, and love that is about honesty and respect rather than jealousy. Let's share interests and see what happens!

I am not professional. My job is. I am a person, and not my job. There are aspects of my job that I find interesting, but I honestly have mixed feelings about the county government for which I work, and no real faith in government or authority in general. My view of ethics is really simple: We're all in this together, so anything I do for or to someone else is going to effect everyone, including me. Therefore, I might as well try to help people whenever I can and not screw the world up any more than it is, if I can help it. I frankly don't believe in money except as a big stupid shell game we're all forced to play to varying degrees.

All the multiple-choice "factory specification" stuff is utterly secondary to me. I don't care how much money your wallet makes, how tall/short your ruler is, how much your bathroom scale weighs, whether your television looks like a supermodel, where your resume works, when your birth certificate was born, or whether your degrees finished college (The entire Earth can be your school, and I respect wisdom more than credentials). I do care that you be a real, caring, affectionate, creative, self-aware, evolving, and self-accepting person who dares to live, love, and feel as you will without having to step on others. If you often feel like a color without a name, you're curious about the world around you, you think/feel deeply, your path veers off the main stream by conscious choice, and you can love without jealousy, we'll probably have quite a lot to start with. Appearance-wise, I find I'm most attracted to women who just look like their natural selves and don't wear makeup or shave.

As for my own "factory specifications," I'm lbs (in normal earth gravity), 5'6", with 2 arms, 2 legs, and 1 head containing long brown/gray hair, 2 hazel eyes (semi-functional), 1 goatee/mustache ensemble, and 1 brain (usually at least mostly functional). I physiy cannot drive, so I use public transportation and my legs.

I'm 420-friendly. I don't smoke cigarettes (though I'm not militant about it if others do). I'd better mention that traditional authoritarian religion and I do not mix well at all. However, I am drawn to some forms of conscious paganism and gnosticism, as well as good old stuffy atheism and rationalism. So...I don't make a particularly good anything-good anything-ist in this department. Like Socrates, I question every damned thing, even myself. I hope that if you are in an existing marriage or other commitment, it is either truly open or you have an exit strategy. While I don't believe in marriage for myself, I am not here to break anyone's heart.

If you resonate with most of what I've said here and you don't find yourself screaming "Noooo, not THAT!," let's talk! :)

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Please help me restore my faith in love My heart is broken. The women I've loved since I was is getting married. I cant believe in soul mates or true love anymore. I'm so damn depressed. Please someone tell me this has hot woman want sex Colton happened to you and it got better. so we've discussed kink vs. BDSM and what could be more extreme than the other and what ties both in. but what about the everyday, mundane activities/appointments we deal with that can actually be spiced up with kinky and BDSM twists. for example: of us can't go food shopping without having alternative thoughts. we don't walk through the produce aisle thinking ONLY of ways to chop up that pineapple for a fruit salad (thanks to MWE and t_c). some people would be completely mortified to know we are thinking these things about produce but that's what sets up apart from non-lifestylers. my personal example: going to the dentist. since i have such an intense oral i going to the dentist and feeling him poke around in my mouth, use his instruments on me, feel the buzz of the little polisher, biting down on the x bits, etc. all the while being laid back and lowered in this comfy chair, looking up into his eyes, watching him talk to me as his assistant sucks the drool from my constantly open mouth MMMMMM i going to the dentist and it definitely puts me in a certain headspace. so what are some other, seriously intense examples of situations/feelings you have found yourself in because of something as vanilla as hanging clothes on a line with clothespins. *grins

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